Tuesday, June 30, 2009

A little too free?

Let me set the scene: Roommate is away, I have the day off school/work (Canada day) and it is my birthday. Spent the day with my sister shopping and eating- great day!! Now I am getting ready for birthday celebration part two- evening BBQ. And it is free shower time!

“Havin A Time”

Free Shower: Shower without pump or CGMS attached (site change day). For these few minutes I am free!! Trust me it is exciting (side note- I am not the only person who gets excited about free showers. Kerri at SUM does as well)

Normally I keep my pump connected in this handy dandy “shower pump holder” my Mum made (see picture- it is the white mess thing). I use it because I am not a morning person and the minute I save disconnecting/reconnecting is one more minute of blissful sleep. Not to mention that I am less than coherent in the morning, it has happened twice in my 7 years pumping that I have arrived at work/school with no pump.

The “shower pump holder” is a lifesaver. But as a result I can only turn 180 degrees before getting tangled in pump tubing. And at least once a morning I turn the wrong way and get caught in the pump tubing (not a morning person). I often drop a F.I.H.P during the morning shower while trying to untangle myself and make it to school/work on time.

Consequently during free showers I have developed a strange habit of turning around and around in circles.

“I’m free! I'm free!”

Back to last night. Roommate is away I am blasting oldies but goodies, dancing and turning around in the shower preparing for birthday celebration part two. While striking my second possibly third pose of Vogue I lose my balance and grab the shower curtain.

The result…. A torn shower curtain.

Lesson: It is possible to be too free in the shower

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Little Black Dress Phenomenon

I must say I love my new CGMS especially while having a few drinks. Before I used to fear the late night lows and the during drinking highs. But the CGMS has a downside- more alarms…. Which makes what I like to call the black dress phenomenon much worse.

The Little Black Dress Phenomenon

As soon as you place your pump anywhere that is remotely difficult to access the pump will alarm. Without fail no matter what you do the pump will freak out.

Last nights scene:

I am at a cocktail party having a few drinks in a very cute summer dress. So I have my pump in a leg pouch. The only way to get to this thing is to lift my dress.

My pump knows that it is in an awkward place to reach and takes this opportunity to mock me- the little black dress phenomenon. For those of you saying sure the pump knows…. Let me tell you as soon as my pump is moved from its favorite spot on my belt all hell breaks loose. Trust me my pump knows.

About 30 min into my cocktail party I am having a few hor d’oeurves enjoying a glass of wine. I feel the thing vibrate- Ignore it thinking I just calibrated before I left and everything looked good. Having a great conversation- did I mention the cheese and jelly hor d’oeuvres are fabulous? Vibrate. Ignore- thinking to myself “FU pump stop the vibrating someone is going to think something is up” Pump placement: inner thigh precariously close to my crotch. And it is vibrating… not that kind of party. “Can anyone see the vibrating? Are the people in the corner talking about my obscene vibrating?”

More hor d’oeuvres, thinking about another glass of wine… Then the sirens start, people duck and cover thinking there is an impending air raid. I quickly excuse myself to the bathroom a little embarrassed for myself as well as the older man who jumped under the table for cover. BG reminder- “Seriously? I just calibrated you got your stupid BG leave me alone. Pump why do you mock me ?”

Return to the party defiantly need that glass of wine … Again not 2 sips into the glass, vibrate. Ignore. Second vibrate, this time I have learned my lesson and I excuse myself yet again… Waiting in line for the washroom, the second air raid attack warning of the evening hits. Approximately one minute into the air raid I am thinking about hiking up my dress (my underwear is pretty cute) in the hallway just to make it stop. Already getting death stares from the ladies in line- I wait. High BG alarm- “Seriously how did I forget to raise the target level”- I like to run a little high when drinking. I turn off the alarm and try to reason with the thing “I know you like to be clipped to my belt and I promise 2 hour from now you will be clipped to my PJ bottoms… just please shut the f%uk up until then.”

Like a small child it totally disregards my begging and pleading. Twenty minutes later low battery alarm. Oh and then just for good measure low reservoir an hour later- this time straight to beeping- low battery.

Seriously pump why do you mock me?

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Overzealous Diabetic or Drug Dealer?

The contents of my purse: phone, pen, day timer, wallet, lip gloss, insulin, needle, glucose monitor, test strips, candy and scale


Yup I said scale... I have become one of those crazy people who weighs everything... So I bought a scale to carry around in my purse. Now not only I can I get the weight of my apple to the nearest .1 of a gram I can also sub for the local drug dealer in a pinch.
Have I gone too far?

The Story

When I was 16 I went to a comedy show at Yuk Yuk’s for a friends birthday. During the show there was this skit about 2 guys who opened a pet shop together. During the skit one guy dropped a gut busting, milk spraying out your nose kind of line that even 10 years later, I still think it is the funnies thing ever.

The line:

F&cK I Hate Puppies”

In fact, the line lives on in my day-to-day life. I often say this line over and over to myself when I am tear my hair out frustrated. Try it. I dare you. How many exasperated F.I.H.Ps can you get out before you are laughing?

Recently there has been a sharp increase in the FIHP screaming. I can only attribute these temper-tantrums to my recent focus on lowering my A1c. My most recent A1c is a number that will evoke both pity and horror. So now armed with my MM 722, new CGMS, and 15 years diabetes experience I am making an honest attempt to get this A1c down to a number that will not send small children running to the hills.

Unfortunately, the road to a decent A1c has been filled with many forsaken puppies and I now need a place to vent. I have quickly concluded that non-diabetics want to hear about the CGMS/Pump/Meter that is mocking me as much as I want to know about last night’s game or the new transmission (I don’t speak sport or car).

And that is the first F.I.H.P post