Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Little Black Dress Phenomenon

I must say I love my new CGMS especially while having a few drinks. Before I used to fear the late night lows and the during drinking highs. But the CGMS has a downside- more alarms…. Which makes what I like to call the black dress phenomenon much worse.

The Little Black Dress Phenomenon

As soon as you place your pump anywhere that is remotely difficult to access the pump will alarm. Without fail no matter what you do the pump will freak out.

Last nights scene:

I am at a cocktail party having a few drinks in a very cute summer dress. So I have my pump in a leg pouch. The only way to get to this thing is to lift my dress.

My pump knows that it is in an awkward place to reach and takes this opportunity to mock me- the little black dress phenomenon. For those of you saying sure the pump knows…. Let me tell you as soon as my pump is moved from its favorite spot on my belt all hell breaks loose. Trust me my pump knows.

About 30 min into my cocktail party I am having a few hor d’oeurves enjoying a glass of wine. I feel the thing vibrate- Ignore it thinking I just calibrated before I left and everything looked good. Having a great conversation- did I mention the cheese and jelly hor d’oeuvres are fabulous? Vibrate. Ignore- thinking to myself “FU pump stop the vibrating someone is going to think something is up” Pump placement: inner thigh precariously close to my crotch. And it is vibrating… not that kind of party. “Can anyone see the vibrating? Are the people in the corner talking about my obscene vibrating?”

More hor d’oeuvres, thinking about another glass of wine… Then the sirens start, people duck and cover thinking there is an impending air raid. I quickly excuse myself to the bathroom a little embarrassed for myself as well as the older man who jumped under the table for cover. BG reminder- “Seriously? I just calibrated you got your stupid BG leave me alone. Pump why do you mock me ?”

Return to the party defiantly need that glass of wine … Again not 2 sips into the glass, vibrate. Ignore. Second vibrate, this time I have learned my lesson and I excuse myself yet again… Waiting in line for the washroom, the second air raid attack warning of the evening hits. Approximately one minute into the air raid I am thinking about hiking up my dress (my underwear is pretty cute) in the hallway just to make it stop. Already getting death stares from the ladies in line- I wait. High BG alarm- “Seriously how did I forget to raise the target level”- I like to run a little high when drinking. I turn off the alarm and try to reason with the thing “I know you like to be clipped to my belt and I promise 2 hour from now you will be clipped to my PJ bottoms… just please shut the f%uk up until then.”

Like a small child it totally disregards my begging and pleading. Twenty minutes later low battery alarm. Oh and then just for good measure low reservoir an hour later- this time straight to beeping- low battery.

Seriously pump why do you mock me?

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